Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Flusterating
Wow and one half! I wrote this awhile ago and reading it caused a rush of emotion...the same emotion i felt as i dished out this peice. I know that perhaps some of you have felt like this... i am sorry, truely i am~ but know this one thing, there is a God in heaven who loves you so, a God who will never let you go! Let Him love you, let it be true, let Him turn your grey skies into blue! Be blessed, Dawn!
Well, my heart is doing weird things on me! I feel as if my words are getting caught in a trap and comming out all tangled and wrong. It seems that i have the drive to write but nothing is comming out the way i want it to! It is really flusterating! This heart of mine keeps dipping and tossing and turning as to what it desires.... there agian, not desires,.. it knows what it desires, knows what it needs, but it keeps wanting to reach out in ackward directions pulling me from what i know is right... not right but what is for me. I find that its longing for what it knows wont work out of the lonely standpoint its in. So i appologise if my rhymes don't flow eloquently or even understandibly. I have decided that love and boys are for the birds, or mabey they are birds. and my heart is a piece of fake food that keeps on getting peaked and spat out due to the distaste that it leaves in the mouth. Its almost as if my heart or love is poison to those who come into contact with it, either that or its like the pie that your unskilled father tried to make but it came out leaving a discusting taste in your mouth so you just shove the food or my heart around the plate to make it look like your eating when you really aren't. Its being 'polite'. But really its just making me hope, making me wonder, making me doubt that a morsule that lacks as much flavour as i could be eaten by anyone, heck not even the dogs will eat it! So where does this lead me...lonely and blue! Take this and chew on it, perhaps it might save a few!
Well, my heart is doing weird things on me! I feel as if my words are getting caught in a trap and comming out all tangled and wrong. It seems that i have the drive to write but nothing is comming out the way i want it to! It is really flusterating! This heart of mine keeps dipping and tossing and turning as to what it desires.... there agian, not desires,.. it knows what it desires, knows what it needs, but it keeps wanting to reach out in ackward directions pulling me from what i know is right... not right but what is for me. I find that its longing for what it knows wont work out of the lonely standpoint its in. So i appologise if my rhymes don't flow eloquently or even understandibly. I have decided that love and boys are for the birds, or mabey they are birds. and my heart is a piece of fake food that keeps on getting peaked and spat out due to the distaste that it leaves in the mouth. Its almost as if my heart or love is poison to those who come into contact with it, either that or its like the pie that your unskilled father tried to make but it came out leaving a discusting taste in your mouth so you just shove the food or my heart around the plate to make it look like your eating when you really aren't. Its being 'polite'. But really its just making me hope, making me wonder, making me doubt that a morsule that lacks as much flavour as i could be eaten by anyone, heck not even the dogs will eat it! So where does this lead me...lonely and blue! Take this and chew on it, perhaps it might save a few!
# posted by Dawn : 12:50 AM
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hi dawn....dawn have I ever told you how much I love you...and that everything that you say to me is appreciated. I love your heart, I love your passion and I love you. You are an amazing person and just so you know I will always be here if you need an ear. Just like you are with me. Love ya.
I see a picture in my head and I feel it's an image of what we men do to women when we mistreat them in such a way that is changes who they are in a negative way.
" I see in my head is a woman whose physically dirty, naked, curled up in a corner, covering herself as best she can, ready to burst into tears, just been raped, cold and alone. "
It's too bad that we men mistreat women to that point. A part of me thinks that's rather extreme but the other part of me says, 'this really happens'. Women feel like this inside because a man attacked her beauty, and in that beauty contains her self worth. I feel no pride in my life from the things I've taken from the two women I've dated. I don't feel like I trampled them harshly, but in a sense, I did trample on them, but never meant to. Thanks for that writing Dawn. It helps us to understand you more. My prayer is an incredible man of God for incredible women of God. I know God has that in store for you. Or for any woman who seeks His face, for that matter. You girls are precious and it's our duty to see to it that you're treated respectively. I want to appologize to women on behalf of all men, but I simply can't. I can only ask a woman on my own behalf. Awesome stuff. (Long comment, I know)
" I see in my head is a woman whose physically dirty, naked, curled up in a corner, covering herself as best she can, ready to burst into tears, just been raped, cold and alone. "
It's too bad that we men mistreat women to that point. A part of me thinks that's rather extreme but the other part of me says, 'this really happens'. Women feel like this inside because a man attacked her beauty, and in that beauty contains her self worth. I feel no pride in my life from the things I've taken from the two women I've dated. I don't feel like I trampled them harshly, but in a sense, I did trample on them, but never meant to. Thanks for that writing Dawn. It helps us to understand you more. My prayer is an incredible man of God for incredible women of God. I know God has that in store for you. Or for any woman who seeks His face, for that matter. You girls are precious and it's our duty to see to it that you're treated respectively. I want to appologize to women on behalf of all men, but I simply can't. I can only ask a woman on my own behalf. Awesome stuff. (Long comment, I know)
Thanks for the kind words. Unfortunently I did not write the Holy Sonnet. It was written by John Donne in the 17th century. Thanks though!!!
Wow Josh... you hit that right on the button! That picture is perfect for this peice! Know this though... girls can do dammage as well and i wish that i could appologise for our doings but i can only appologise for me~ Dawn
# posted by 
: 5:26 PM
: 5:26 PM
I know what you mean when you say that you have stuff in you to write and it just doesn't come out, i'm at that point right now as I try and right this.
My hear crys out though. I know the damage playing with hearts can do. I've been there, on both sides of things and it stinks either way. The image your friend said of a Pink flower in the middle of a black and white picture is powerful. Your a beautiful, powerful woman of God. I feel confident saying this to you, because the short time I met you in person, and the few times we've chatted online have left an impression. One i'm not soon to forget.
I feel like i'm rambling, but still have something to say....I want to get angry, or lash out at someone because your hurting. That never seems to help all that much though, so instead i'll just reiterate what i've already said.
You present your self as a confident, intelligent, beautiful woman, made in the image of our most wonderful and loving God. You as a woman represent all that is beautiful about our God, and if someone is abusing that, they are abusing you, and God, and it needs to stop.
I'm going to stop here, but I hope something i've typed made some sense to someone.
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My hear crys out though. I know the damage playing with hearts can do. I've been there, on both sides of things and it stinks either way. The image your friend said of a Pink flower in the middle of a black and white picture is powerful. Your a beautiful, powerful woman of God. I feel confident saying this to you, because the short time I met you in person, and the few times we've chatted online have left an impression. One i'm not soon to forget.
I feel like i'm rambling, but still have something to say....I want to get angry, or lash out at someone because your hurting. That never seems to help all that much though, so instead i'll just reiterate what i've already said.
You present your self as a confident, intelligent, beautiful woman, made in the image of our most wonderful and loving God. You as a woman represent all that is beautiful about our God, and if someone is abusing that, they are abusing you, and God, and it needs to stop.
I'm going to stop here, but I hope something i've typed made some sense to someone.
# posted by : 12:12 AM
: 12:12 AM<< Home
