Thursday, March 23, 2006
For Emma
Ok. So i have kind-of have had a difficult week. I was on the maternity floor all this week in various parts (postpartum, labour and delivery and ICN)... first i must explain that i have an incredibly soft bleeding heart for children~ with that said here it goes.... my days postpartum were difficult when i came across miscariages and a new mother and baby where the father had been murdered... the injustice of a little baby not ever getting to know his father? It makes my toes curl~ However, the thing that got me the most was today in ICN (neonatal intensive care). One of my patients was a normal, slightly pre-term baby. She was gorgeous and captured my heart with her first morning sigh...... wondering why she was there i dove into her case. this is what i found. BOTH her parents are addicted to cocaine.... ok, i can deal with that.......her mom used WHILE she was pregnant....ok making me mad. this little one is having tremmors, is needing to be on morphine, is acutly uncomfortable and her life is at stake because her vitals are all over the map......next ugly peice of info i got was that her parents refuse to stop using....WHAT? How can this be? How could anyone not want to... for their BABY!.... as i sat there stunned by this fact another wave hit me as the social services lady continued to bash more dispicable words, "Her parents haven't come in in days, probably wont, and even if they did, we can't give the child to them. She is going to foster care".....*cringes* i dislike the foster system. (right now i want you to take a moment) ..... i almost broke down... i was angry, i was sad..... i realized that the contact that myself and the rest of the nursing staff were giving her were the ONLY contact that this beutiful little princess was getting...... i almost cried as i picked her up and just snuggled her for 3 hours..... i prayed for her.... i wared in the heavenlies on her behalf....i am pretty sure i would have tried to adopt her if i knew that i could provide for her..... i rocked her...... i sang songs for her.... we bonded....and my heart broke.
When i left it tore me appart.... i waited until i was in the locker room and let my tears fall for her.... Father, i have so much, and she has nothing! Really, think about this.... about this precious babe..... she may not get the opportunities that you have gotten..... so please....be thankful for something, ANYTHING today... and post it in your comment, for little emma. I am too heartbroken to think....so this is the end. Pray for her, and those just like her because even though her situation is royally rotten, i believe that God can perform miracles! Be blessed, be thankful, i love you all~
P.S. Sorry if this dosen't make sense.... my head is in my heart.... my heart has sunken to my feet. Hopefully you get something out of it!
When i left it tore me appart.... i waited until i was in the locker room and let my tears fall for her.... Father, i have so much, and she has nothing! Really, think about this.... about this precious babe..... she may not get the opportunities that you have gotten..... so please....be thankful for something, ANYTHING today... and post it in your comment, for little emma. I am too heartbroken to think....so this is the end. Pray for her, and those just like her because even though her situation is royally rotten, i believe that God can perform miracles! Be blessed, be thankful, i love you all~
P.S. Sorry if this dosen't make sense.... my head is in my heart.... my heart has sunken to my feet. Hopefully you get something out of it!
# posted by Dawn : 5:12 PM
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Well i am going to start.... i am thankful for life... to not have to live on a ventalator or mechanical device~ I am thankful for my parents.... that i at least know who they are and see them (even when its only sometimes)! and most of all i am thankful for Gods love that took me when i was an orphan and made me a child of the King! oOo.... i know what i am going to do next post.... i will write about things i am thankful for! it will be a gooder! Be blessed, lov you!
Wow Dawn... I'm at a loss for words...I think I'll say a few things. Number one, seeing your heart like that resembles Christ and is warming. Number two, to see a baby in that screnario and how unfair life can be, because of the choices we all make, impact the lives of others... in some cases, in years to come after that... Which can be good or bad... this IS quite sad...i'm sure God heard your cry today, and who knows what that might have done... There is SO much I'm thankful for and I feel convicted reading that about what I have, yet I complain...thanks.. for this blog, for your heart..that pain is going to make the world of difference for children Dawn.. you made a difference in one's life today.. in emma's life. I'm so thankful for my parents.. the love they gave me has helped me understand the love Christ has... and I see not every child has that oportunity... There's so many blessings I have, that I did not deserve
Wow this is something that is close to my heart too. I see children everyday going through struggles that children should nto have to go through. What did holding her is something so important in an infants life. An infant needs to be held cause it is a building block to be able to trust and feel that they are wanted. My eyes were sweating through this blog for many reasons. I was sad cause I know what the foster system is like and she will be lost in the system but since she is so young it will be easier for her to get adopted. Umm another reason why is because of the love you have shown her not many people know how to show children love and since its my specialty I am happy when I see others doing it as well. The reason I was crying was because I know first hand children that have stayed with their addicted parents and then taken out of their homes messed up even more with so many problems that get sent to me and I have to try and fix. This blog just makes my dreams and goals in life that much more important. I am going to bring the numbers of children getting put into foster care by training parents. I am sooo excited for that day that I get my centre. Ok now things I am thankful for I am thankful for my family even tho my mom didnt know how to bring a child up well she stilled loved me, but one of the most important things in my life is my friends....I am soooo thankful for them cause without them I would have given up a long time ago. Sorry Dawn this is really long. Love you tons.
Ok I have something else to say ha ha yeah I know Nicole get off the mic whatever here it goes. I know it makes you guys angry that this happened but at the same time you have to look into why the parents are addicts...maybe their life was hard too and they need help so instead of bashing the parents and saying why would you do this to your child? Say what happened to you? Why are you doing this to yourself? My goal is to help parents become extraordinary parents and to do that you have to look at what they have been through as well...I know it makes me angry and sad too and we have every right cause its a child and that child cant speak for herself so we need to speak for her. When you pray for little Emma pray for her parents too, they need it just as much. Jesus Loves them too. This situation is wrong but happens all to often.
Wow. I have lately been realizing so many blessings in my life and this was another one on top that took me to the feet of my father with such gratitude for the blessings given to me. My list for what I am thankful for has been really growing lately. I am so thankful for amazing loving Christian parents who did an amazing job at trying to show the love of Christ to me and bring me up in a godly manner. I am thankful for breath and life. I am thankful that I have a Gd that loves me who is so completley amazing. A God who is fully capable of healing this baby, El Olam everlasting strength, Jehovah-Jireh almighty God. I am thankful that a God who is so uncomprehendably incredible loves little whiney unworthy me. And I am thankful that this omnipotent God of mine sees details and little people like Emma. I am thankful that she doesn't go unseen. I am thankful that God will take care of her, that he has his all powerful hand on her life.
# posted by 
: 10:15 PM
: 10:15 PM
Wow... that post and these comments are powerful.. looks like ours eyes are being opened to things we need to take some responsibility for. Nikki, although I'm not childcare specialist, I fully stand behind your dream with it and recognize its importance... to the children underneath you and the parents beside you. No doubt in my mind, you've got a great calling with this area, and I personally believe there's an incredible amount of people that'll be touched by you because of that one desire Jesus placed in you.. Wow, that's huge. For that matter, all of you play a vital, important role in extending the kingdom. Awesome stuff, really! It's time to go harvest the field.
Dawn,
It's funny because as I was studying FAS the other night I felt comletely ashamed. Ashamed that our drunkness ruins others lives. Can you imagine wondering 'I could be so much better at what I do if I only had the chance to function normally'? What have we done? It's like were not even giving the next generation a chance. I'd love to sluff it off and say "well it's not like its my fault because I don't drink" but the fact is that we're responsible to carry our generation and right now we're just letting them fall because it seems too impossible.To everyone who reads Dawn's blog: God is calling us as an army to rise up and take the challenge. He's given us the tools and everything we need so let's get to work.
It's funny because as I was studying FAS the other night I felt comletely ashamed. Ashamed that our drunkness ruins others lives. Can you imagine wondering 'I could be so much better at what I do if I only had the chance to function normally'? What have we done? It's like were not even giving the next generation a chance. I'd love to sluff it off and say "well it's not like its my fault because I don't drink" but the fact is that we're responsible to carry our generation and right now we're just letting them fall because it seems too impossible.To everyone who reads Dawn's blog: God is calling us as an army to rise up and take the challenge. He's given us the tools and everything we need so let's get to work.
*kursh* ten four there rubber duckie...watchout for that lime green chicken with pink stripes...shes comming for ya *kursh* lol
wow you know what I am excited for...is this generation finally getting it and running with it. The young adults in Canada are going to change the world. And yes we do need to be there for the generation under us that is my dream. I am always praying for the my generation and the generation under us because with God we WILL change the world.
lol.... nice Andrea... i agree Nikki... there ARE passionate people out there... i personally want to see our generation pass the buck and lift up the next... it hasen't happened in the past but there will be a rocket of grow and furthering of the Kingdom if we do!
You know what this little girl WILL end up in a good home...someone WILL adopt her and call her their own.
We change the world...one hug at a time. We change the world...one choice at a time. You ARE changing YOUR world. As you hugged that little girl...God cried too. His heart is for the children. He wants EACH one of our hearts but he gives us choice. Remember that song you sing..."the shackles falling off". That is what so many people need...addictions broken, and the power of God released into their lives to give them freedom. My heart cries as I see your heart experiencing such "big issues". Life is so "not fair". Dawn, you are doing exactly what your Father is desiring you to do. You are loving, you are praying, you are weeping. Bless you!
I really like what ladyyvonne said about this blog it was really good. It was actually powerful. And Andrea I dont get what you mean by we may disagree about that.
I'm thankful that God is good. And that even when I question his goodness, He is still good. And forever will be good. And that we can rest in that.
Amen, because God ALWAYS pulls through.. and all you can do is fall on your knees in awe... in an overwhelming presence of thankfullness rests in the soul...
hm. that was powerful. something really close to my heart. i was adopted at a young age, and i'm truly blessed. even though my mom is not my biological mom, she is my real mom. even though i've had my biological and my adoptive dad leave me, my real Father, won't leave me. it's really quite a powerful thought. it's cool, God's hand has been on my life ever since i was conceived. Sometimes i have to be reminded of that. hmm. something to not only ponder, but recieve. heh.
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