Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Rehab open for business!
*enter medical students from left corner* Welcome one and all to Dawn's rehab center! This center is only for severe cases and to be admitted you must be at risk! As of today we only have one patient to show you, but there have been a many come through our doors! Lets start with case number one... its really quite sad, she has been here for 19years! *gasps all around the room* yes, she has been our worst of cases... rapid toung tricks, typed out movements and incredible word fumbles! I warn you.. please do not feed her... she has a tendancy to bite and be vicous with spoons! We have some new additions planning to arrive here soon~ One girl, patient 150983 has a severe case and will be admitted to our BAHG and FACWC... which of course is Bloggers Addiction Help Group and Frosting and Cake Withdrawl Course! I am pretty sure that for the first day or so we will have to have her on a bag vanilla froster for an IV... sad i know *students take notes and nod intently*~ Our next case, patient number 181083 has a mixture of HTS and CEED (compulsive eating of elephants disorder, which of course leads to obesity). Let me tell you... we had to cut out the wall for this guy, we will probably have him on a stricked regiment of spoons and ESTSH (electro-shock therapy for the severly holywood)! We may have to beat this one into shape! However, this patient is ALWAYS tired... so we must force camination until early morning to help the process along~ ...and our final possible arrival is patient is 1988. Its quite an interesting case... she has a hormone, aggritonin, in her body that attracts all things sharp to jump out at her... therefore hurting her and causing palpitations in the process.... she also has FFW (facination for windows) and frequently gets caught in these glass cages of emotion! It doesn't not stop there folks... she also has delirious episodes where she thinks that patient 181083 is inside her head! We plan to do an emergency cranialoptopy to remove the voice... Ursula even gave us her shell to extract this voice and give it back to patient 181083! After that she will be forced to the 'cloud room' where there are no sharp objects, just padding until the medication, batchbrowniefil, passes through her system to remove this dreadful hormone! After that she will enter our EWWP (emergency window withdrawl program) were she will learn to live 'outside of the box'...or window in this case! Well.... i hope that you enjoyed learning about our different programs and hope that you will consider us in the future! Be blessed and have a wonderful rehabilitated day!
I definatly have to say that this is one of my best posts yet!
I definatly have to say that this is one of my best posts yet!
# posted by Dawn : 2:33 PM
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LOL - so many funny things in that blog, I won't write em all out. That's awesome Dawn!! That definately IS a good post, Kudos to you, 1500 points! Thanks for the laughs today, they were well needed :)
Wow thats amazing I am not even mad.
Patients Diary,
Well they finally let me use the computer today. Now I know I shouldnt be on this blog but you know I couldnt help it. I needed one more fix before I move on in life. It the rush you know that you get when you read these blogs. I feel like I am going to go get some icing too and maybe some cake under it...its like a drug to me it keeps on this high that is so amazing. I really love this facility and I may have to stay longer I need more help with this.
Patient 150983
Well Dawn that was a great blog...and with the long day I have had today I needed the laugh I feel out of sorts. So thank you for that. Have a great week. Love you tons and miss you more.
Patients Diary,
Well they finally let me use the computer today. Now I know I shouldnt be on this blog but you know I couldnt help it. I needed one more fix before I move on in life. It the rush you know that you get when you read these blogs. I feel like I am going to go get some icing too and maybe some cake under it...its like a drug to me it keeps on this high that is so amazing. I really love this facility and I may have to stay longer I need more help with this.
Patient 150983
Well Dawn that was a great blog...and with the long day I have had today I needed the laugh I feel out of sorts. So thank you for that. Have a great week. Love you tons and miss you more.
no, i love the cheese... perhaps its goat cheese! Right connie? lol....it actually might have been made by my stealth goat, right andrea?
Nikki, you're not even suppose to know about that - that's it.. next time we have some insider Dawn, it stays inside - Nikki, I'm shattered, I hope you feel good - I was just trying to have fun and you pretty much just kicked me in... uh... a much preferred area to be left alone... thanks a lot, it's greatly appreciated...
Dawn, you are funny...it made me smile in the middle of my not-so-funny work day!!! Thanks for that!
Dawn's rehab is the shiz. I'm in.. it's funny though.. because I just can't get out.. for some reason, obesity will not leave me alone.. or... is that REALLY the case?
yeah....*looks to the side* that's the case Josh.... NO ONE is trying to sabotage you~ Right george? ...he says right... lol
oh...and Josh... the reason that you can't get out is because you still can't fit through the door... i am still flabbergasted (hehe...flab) at how you got in?!
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