Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Beutiful Letdown
There are times when i feel like people forget that i am human! Like there is an expectation on me to be perfect all the time. *shakes head* I am NOT perfect, i have never been perfect and i will never be perfect... the bar that some have raised is high... i aim for it, i miss. Not just once but every time, in every way! My heart is heavied when i cannot attain this bar. When i dont even feel like i want to attain this bar. Is it wrong to take a moment to do what you want to do instead of what others want to do? It seems like its ok when someone else does it but when its you its wrong? Why is this so? How can it be? I am going to let the world in on a little secret... the mounths of may/june are my HARDEST mounths... they are where i feel the most drained, where i can do for myself what i would like because i have no more gas in my tank~ Perhaps this is selfish of me... perhaps its too much to ask, but it seems that when i dont get this time i crash! God has been stretching me in the most pecular ways.... my gas tank is empty and i am still running! Its funny all that people dont see... how much people dont understand... do they want to understand or see... a lot of times no. They dont see when i am tired, and just need a rest, they dont see that i am weighed down and how its sunken my chest~ They dont see past my smile and my laughter so, they just go on when my heart is laden with snow! I do know why though... why its hard to see past my smile.... its because i ALWAYS have something to smile about, so therefore its genuine... its hard to see that i am at wits end, dangling, ready to let go from exastion! I would take a week like i normally do if i had the time to do so, but the truth is that that time is not there... yes its sad, but my name is Daughter, Princess of the most high! In Him i find my strength and with Him all hope is found, grace is given, freedom all around! I am glad that He can always handle when i am not perfect, that His grace is always there, that His love never leaves me... even when i am lonely and scared! So i appologise if i have let you down and appologise for when i let you down! Geuss what? I am FAR from perfect, i never was, am, or will be! Please remember this... and lend out grace... if anyone needs it, its me! Be blessed, have a great day! Love you all!
# posted by Dawn : 8:53 AM
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Dawn, you are truly an amazing woman and you do great things! I've told you how selfless you are and that still stands tall. It's MORE than fine for you to want what you want to do and not always please people - we talked about this the other night :) I know I didn't say much because I just wanted to give you room to vent & breathe.
I honestly have to say that I couldn't see exhaustion or weariness in you at all, but I hope I helped you feel rest or feel anything positive, for that matter.
I pray for strength to get through, for peace and for rest on a weary soul. I'll keep you in my prayers Schmo. I did/am/will be praying for strength, peace and rest for you to get through these months if they're your hardest -
Dawn, I want you to know that if you need an ear, I'll be there! Even if not over the webcam, you've still got my phone #'s, so don't hesitate to call if you need someone to listen to you, whatever the circumstance, whatever the time! I mean that. You're a great woman Dawn, truly and genuinely! Hope your day is great!
2 Samuel 22:33
1 Chronicles 16:11
1 Chronicles 29:12
Psalm 18:32
I honestly have to say that I couldn't see exhaustion or weariness in you at all, but I hope I helped you feel rest or feel anything positive, for that matter.
I pray for strength to get through, for peace and for rest on a weary soul. I'll keep you in my prayers Schmo. I did/am/will be praying for strength, peace and rest for you to get through these months if they're your hardest -
Dawn, I want you to know that if you need an ear, I'll be there! Even if not over the webcam, you've still got my phone #'s, so don't hesitate to call if you need someone to listen to you, whatever the circumstance, whatever the time! I mean that. You're a great woman Dawn, truly and genuinely! Hope your day is great!
2 Samuel 22:33
1 Chronicles 16:11
1 Chronicles 29:12
Psalm 18:32
I know we arent all perfect but wow I pretty much feel like that was a stab to me....so I have stuff to talk to you about but not on here...and you KNOW that I am always here for you at no matter what time. Well hope to talk to you soon if you have time for me.
Nikki my darling it was not a stab at you by ANY means! Its just how i feel, almost all the time! Not just by one person but by many... a lot of times people dont even realize that they are doing it but they are and this is a reflection on how i feel since i know my inequities and imperfections and hate them! So dont feel like it was supposto condem it wasen't... it wasn't directed at anyone in particular.. its just how i feel! I love you all!
If I know you at all I know this wasn't ment as a condemnation. But if some people feel convicted I don't see that as a negative at all. I'm so glad that you are willing to show your vulnerability and let people know that's how you feel. And i'm positive that all the people that love you (And there's lots of us) will understand, or at least try to.
Take what rest you can, and as you already said you are a daughter of the most high. He is our provider, and we can do ALL things through him, with his strength.
Keep on keepin on, and know if there is ever ANYTHING you need you know how to get a hold of me (Yes, I help move bodies. Heck I am willing under some situations to help make them.)
Peace
Take what rest you can, and as you already said you are a daughter of the most high. He is our provider, and we can do ALL things through him, with his strength.
Keep on keepin on, and know if there is ever ANYTHING you need you know how to get a hold of me (Yes, I help move bodies. Heck I am willing under some situations to help make them.)
Peace
heh. it's crazy how people think that we're perfect. it drives me nuts. heh.
anyways i updated. Just for you. hahaha.
anyways i updated. Just for you. hahaha.
thank you! for your comments. they make my spirit smile. you are such an awesome person and even though I've only met you in person once and barely realized it, i know you are a mighty woman of God and his plans for you are monumental!
sweet awesome.
Happy June 2nd.
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sweet awesome.
Happy June 2nd.
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