Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Supports
So lately i have been thinking about support systems~ This is probably due to school in that with every clinical situation that a nurse looks at there is always some aspect of support; whether that be a support group or support from families or you as the nurse lending support through the healing process.
From their i took a joust at my own life and all its happenings... looking at what's healthy and what's not healthy. From this i see 2 extremes: 1) support via friends and 2) support via self-sufficient methods.
Lets take a look at support via friends. Now, i know what some are thinking... friends are good, you want to have supportive friends to help you in your walk. This is true... a wise lady once told me that she can tell who you are by the friends you have.... friends can make a BIG difference in life. The extreme that i am looking at is instead of friends as supports, one uses friends as lifters and carriers. What i mean by this is that sometimes we put all of our weight on our friends, expecting that they can carry us and all of our baggage; expecting that they wont let us down, dissapoint us or hurt us. .... Perhaps our friends can even carry us for a length of time... but eventually they fall or have to let us down due to pure exhaustion! So, in our need we find another person to carry us cause we think we can't walk on our own and we are afraid to let go of the 'grounding' baggadge that we have carried for so long.
If you find yourself the 'weight' in situation one geuss what? You CAN do this... believe it or not you CAN stand on your own! Take care! Their is one that can carry ALL of your weight plus more! His name is Jesus, He is one that will never hurt you, never leave you nor forake you! Yes, its scary to trust in Him, however you will spare alot of lost friendships, hurt and pain if you go to Him! If you find yourself the carrier..... stop. I know you WANT to help your friend and its good to support them (ie. love on em) but its not good for you or your friend for you to be carrying their weight. This does not mean that when they fall that you can't lend a hand (the bible talks about woe is the man who falls and doesn't have anyone to help him up) it doesn't mean that you can't help occationally with carrying a burden to the Lord (anyone recognize that one?), encouraging them, lifting them in prayer. These are all good things... but there is a danger zone when you take the role that only God alone can fill! He does it best! Do you trust that God will take care of your friend that you care for so much? I know... its a tough statement to swallow... Will you love them when they have fallen for the 800th time? Will you be there for them if they react in offense and be able to love them in spite? Tough questions. Sometimes this offense will come accross in anger, like you are doing something wrong, like you have failed them adn should feel horrible for doing so. Please... don't reciprocate this. They are usually reacting because they are hurt, no its not all you. It takes 2 to be in a relationship.... it takes 2 to have a fight or in extreme cases end the friendship. Do not take ALL the blame. However, one must be sensitive to the other, pointing out their faults is not going to do anything, blaming it all on them wont do it either. The Bible talks about turning and offering your other cheek! Right now, they need your love and support more than ever, even though they may not realize or even want it for that matter. Keep going, your words ARE making a difference, be encouraged!
Now, for the next support extreme... can i get a "whoop whoop" for the independants in the house? lol Ok, i admit, alot of times i get stuck in this one... the "i can do it on my own", "i don't want to burden anyone with this", or "I can only rely on God cause He wont ever let me down like people" types. Even Jesus had diciples or a 'support' per say. Now, for those of you saying 'but Jesus only relied on God', yes that is true. I am not saying to that you must rely on people, that would be foolish. However, fellowship is a wonderful thing and it can be tapped into. Where there is light darkness flees.... you see that when you go into a room, you can have the smallest light but where that light shines darkness is not there! It is the same when you bring your burdens into the light. It does not have to be a lonely struggle. Should you expect your friends to be perfect, no. Should you rely on them as your source of healing, no. BUT they do aide the process. Notice how it says in the Bible that where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name there I will also be.... this does not say one... it says 2 or 3. Not saying that God wont meet you where your at, or that their MUST be others involved but it brings a powerful (exponentially) aspect to it.
Anyway, those are my thoughts! I thought i would stop there due to the length of it! It actually is something i would like to speak about one day! Perhaps i will... but for now, i hope that you enjoyed it! Be blessed and have a fantastic day!~
From their i took a joust at my own life and all its happenings... looking at what's healthy and what's not healthy. From this i see 2 extremes: 1) support via friends and 2) support via self-sufficient methods.
Lets take a look at support via friends. Now, i know what some are thinking... friends are good, you want to have supportive friends to help you in your walk. This is true... a wise lady once told me that she can tell who you are by the friends you have.... friends can make a BIG difference in life. The extreme that i am looking at is instead of friends as supports, one uses friends as lifters and carriers. What i mean by this is that sometimes we put all of our weight on our friends, expecting that they can carry us and all of our baggage; expecting that they wont let us down, dissapoint us or hurt us. .... Perhaps our friends can even carry us for a length of time... but eventually they fall or have to let us down due to pure exhaustion! So, in our need we find another person to carry us cause we think we can't walk on our own and we are afraid to let go of the 'grounding' baggadge that we have carried for so long.
If you find yourself the 'weight' in situation one geuss what? You CAN do this... believe it or not you CAN stand on your own! Take care! Their is one that can carry ALL of your weight plus more! His name is Jesus, He is one that will never hurt you, never leave you nor forake you! Yes, its scary to trust in Him, however you will spare alot of lost friendships, hurt and pain if you go to Him! If you find yourself the carrier..... stop. I know you WANT to help your friend and its good to support them (ie. love on em) but its not good for you or your friend for you to be carrying their weight. This does not mean that when they fall that you can't lend a hand (the bible talks about woe is the man who falls and doesn't have anyone to help him up) it doesn't mean that you can't help occationally with carrying a burden to the Lord (anyone recognize that one?), encouraging them, lifting them in prayer. These are all good things... but there is a danger zone when you take the role that only God alone can fill! He does it best! Do you trust that God will take care of your friend that you care for so much? I know... its a tough statement to swallow... Will you love them when they have fallen for the 800th time? Will you be there for them if they react in offense and be able to love them in spite? Tough questions. Sometimes this offense will come accross in anger, like you are doing something wrong, like you have failed them adn should feel horrible for doing so. Please... don't reciprocate this. They are usually reacting because they are hurt, no its not all you. It takes 2 to be in a relationship.... it takes 2 to have a fight or in extreme cases end the friendship. Do not take ALL the blame. However, one must be sensitive to the other, pointing out their faults is not going to do anything, blaming it all on them wont do it either. The Bible talks about turning and offering your other cheek! Right now, they need your love and support more than ever, even though they may not realize or even want it for that matter. Keep going, your words ARE making a difference, be encouraged!
Now, for the next support extreme... can i get a "whoop whoop" for the independants in the house? lol Ok, i admit, alot of times i get stuck in this one... the "i can do it on my own", "i don't want to burden anyone with this", or "I can only rely on God cause He wont ever let me down like people" types. Even Jesus had diciples or a 'support' per say. Now, for those of you saying 'but Jesus only relied on God', yes that is true. I am not saying to that you must rely on people, that would be foolish. However, fellowship is a wonderful thing and it can be tapped into. Where there is light darkness flees.... you see that when you go into a room, you can have the smallest light but where that light shines darkness is not there! It is the same when you bring your burdens into the light. It does not have to be a lonely struggle. Should you expect your friends to be perfect, no. Should you rely on them as your source of healing, no. BUT they do aide the process. Notice how it says in the Bible that where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name there I will also be.... this does not say one... it says 2 or 3. Not saying that God wont meet you where your at, or that their MUST be others involved but it brings a powerful (exponentially) aspect to it.
Anyway, those are my thoughts! I thought i would stop there due to the length of it! It actually is something i would like to speak about one day! Perhaps i will... but for now, i hope that you enjoyed it! Be blessed and have a fantastic day!~
# posted by Dawn : 7:56 PM
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i really liked it dawn...since the summer i have been really trying to find my support in God and not in myself..thanks for reminding me of that and pretty much telling me what to do..
Hey babe - hope your day is going well - Just wanted to let you know I'm thinkin' boutcha and I love you!
aww, I love your blog. It's one of the few places where I can actually think and wonder and learn from. Not just fluff. Good deep stuff. Yay! Have a beautiful day.
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